Saturday, September 02, 2006

On to Islamabad

Mission Creep

Memo to Gord: You're not "in" the military anymore. You're now a civilian. Someone even made you Minister of Defence. You don't need camo combat fatigues, even if they do have your name emblazoned on them. "Rambo" was only a movie Gord, honestly.

From the "It just keeps getting nuttier" file, word just out that Canada's Defence Minister, Gordon "Killer" O'Conner has decided that failing to control the Taliban in Afghanistan's unruly Kandahar province isn't enough, he also wants our already limited ground force there to start prowling the mountains of Pakistan.

Look, Gord. The Canadian people already are pretty fed up with Afghanistan and "the mission." They support our troops but they don't believe in the mission and they don't believe Afghanistan is worth it. It's your job and Steve's to persuade the Canadian people to support this and you haven't. That means you've failed to do your job. Are you so insensible that you think we're chomping at the bit to have you make our soldiers' lives more difficult, even more dangerous? You had better start paying attention to the Canadian people, Gord, because they're starting to pay attention to you and, in your case, that's not a good thing.

Why not Pakistan? Where to begin? The Pakistani Army doesn't even like going in there because they tend to get mauled pretty badly by the mountain tribesmen. These fierce folks don't like their own army, how do you think they're going to welcome ours?

This is a pretty big job. Just how many battalions do you think it's going to take to tackle the Taliban in Pakistan? Of course, if you're not going to send a sizeable force, why send a token force? Do you think maybe a few Canadians would be all the Pakistanis would need to actually get up the courage to go after the Taliban? Have you not been wearing your matching camo sun hat, Gord? That sun's wicked hot out there, you know. Best be careful.

Then there's Mr. Big himself, Pakistan's boss, General Musharraf. He's been riding a razorblade for years, trying to keep the radicals at bay. He's dodged a few bullets - real bullets. It's hard to say just how risky it would be for the General to start letting infidels mess with his military but I'm sure if he wanted us there, he'd have asked. That's the thing when you're moving your army around, it's usually better to wait until you're invited.

Oh yeah, and there's Parliament. You know them Gord, that's the bunch of civilians you actually belong with. Those opposition guys, they know they've got the voters behind them on this one, Gord, and they're going to eat you alive on the Pakistan business. No Mr. Minister, this idea is a complete non-starter. Besides, if we get all of our guys tied down in Pakistan, what are we going to have left to put up when George culls together his next coalition, the one to invade Iran?

By the way, the caption beneath the picture of Minister O'Connor, "Mission Creep", is a term that describes the tendency of military operations to grow or 'creep' into new areas or tasks, usually with bad results. In Iraq, for example, the Bush administration believed their forces would be in and out within as little as 60-days. Now The Decider can't even foresee getting American troops out of that quagmire. Start off small and you wind up neck deep and treading water.

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